A dear friend of mine called today; as she often does on Easter. I almost did not answer the phone because I vowed to take it easy this weekend. But ..then there is caller id that really helps us to decide.
My friend is unhappy right now, scared and aching over things gone wrong and unaddressed in her life.
She said she thinks people do not really go to bat for her and that she only finds that she can be happy for limited periods of them. I told her that I noticed that but also likened it to the ocean where tides always ebb in and flow out . For me it is still the ocean and I choose if it is safe enough for swimming, boating, dipping my feet in or watching from the shore. She still is who she is.
She then told me that she has always believed that I on the other hand, am the"always happy super human girl." That is not true. I just have a perspective that the things we go through are for part of the bigger unfolding of ourselves into the world and a necessary lesson to refine our ability to be a blessing.
It is that underlying belief that has me seeming so 'supergirl happy. So, her statement made me laugh.
I am not always happy, but I am always looking to wake happiness up where I find it sleeping. Sometimes I do that in ways that does not always please the masses and (drumroll please)... I am not always "super." I just go hard and tend to pick up a lot of slack because my role and often times the priority I am involved in requires that drive for things to turn out right.
I falter from time to time; just not as outwardly or angrily as one might expect. Confirmed as human I am and yes... I am always ..a girl ..yes. That part I really enjoy!
She said she called me because 'church was like church on every Easter Sunday and there were 100 unknown faces that never come any other time other than Christmas.'
I told her that 'worship is in the heart and truth is no one needs her as their judge'. Just because she did not feel filled does not mean that they should not have come. Easter is a time of renewal and everyone has a birthright to that.
My friend agreed and said she just' wanted to hear something profound' from me.
"Set me right girl", she said. Imagine that! lol. No profundity here. I just share my truth as it comes and after I have pondered it a bit, I see a universal purpose. I used to try to teach her meditation in college. She was not ready. When she stopped asking to be taught I told her that I was willing to keep trying because every experience was either one or two things with her and all of us really. It was either about the absence of love or a call for love to come in where it did not exist. I think that moment of truth cemented our friendship.
Today she asked me to help her 'get in a better space' over the phone. I felt like I had to give disclosure, that I am just a soul working to be filled up and spent so that my end remarks a life well lived and a job well done.
Here is what I shared with her:
__________, do you ever get to run bath for yourself? She said, "sometimes".
So I told her that in a tub full of still water you can see a reflection of yourself (and in most homes you may have to kneel over the water to see it. I like that humble stance.)
To that reflection she sees, I told her to say:
"I forgive you because I love you (her name), I love what you are becoming, it is a wonder, it is beautiful, I love you for this moment that at long last 'we' decided to share. I see you the original me and you are welcome here. It's good to be back to the core and to knowing the original intention is love. You _______ are not an accident. You are a soul on top of a body of water. Clean and pure as I see you now but I know that my mistakes, my learning, other people with their life's dirt, work, pain, success, needs and baggage get into the water that your soul sits atop.
The water loses its clarity, but I promise to see you still as you are now. On top of it all. Clean and sure with stillness beneath you. As was intended is what you are. Pure and deserving of the ability to float over it all."
She began to cry and sob in fact. Leaving me feeling like I was the Barbara Walters in the friendship. No worries though; she said it was " good crying ."
I had not done this exercise myself for a while. I have opted for more showers than baths lately in my rush to get out the door or in the bed as the case may be.
This is further indicative of the fact that I too must take the time daily to do this as much as I do prayer which is more for third parties than it is for my singular self. At the very least, I can sit somewhere and visualize it. You can too. This exercise could be done in a public bathroom sink if we wished to do so. Make no excuses. Try it.
There is a second part to the meditation exercise and I will share that " part 2" at a later time. This was necessary now, because I sense many of us are in "a space."
What do you do besides prayer to get out of your own way? Please share.
Love and light!