My dear friend who lives all too far away asked me how she could go about communicating the end of a relationship to someone who she loses courage to let go of when they are face to face. She said it was only because she 'cannot stand the look of devastation that would be in his eyes'. I told her the "devastation" was stringing that person along when she knew it was over. She said, "He is not the 'him' that I need or want."
I then told her to write about it. I find that for those of us tied( professionally and personally) to media and artistic expression, it is easier to get it out that way. We read look or listen to it and all of a sudden ..courage to make it happen face to face comes along. In fact, I think this works well for almost anybody.
She said she would try and in my own knowing of myself and imagining what I would do if the situation were mine, I wrote a piece that would be my spiritual and poetic truth if I had to cut the wrong one loose.
Have a read:
YOU, ME and HIM
I am more than the look of my face, the curve of my hips, I AM beyond the sum of my physical parts... Truly
So with my back straight and soul intact, I will wait for him.
I AM with…the confidence of Cleopatra, a Queen
Boldness of Esther,
The Praying of Hannah,
The Patience of Ruth,
as stately as Neferetti..
I have ....
The Peace of GOD that comes from knowing that he is
A Piece of GOD.
I am a vessel waiting on him able to carry passengers to port and shore
Tall, long, bold and strong.
I carry greatness ..ALREADY
Have the capacity to lead and mother more..I'M READY
And I'm looking for something a bit different
You are not HIM
HE is a hybrid yes
So am I.
I do not know how much you have read
But men who do not read ...scare me
Those who do not listen warn me
You who are fatigued create tension around me
I realize that form and function are not mutually EXCLUSIVE
I realize that courage is something self defined
I know that some will call you to give them what they don't have to give.
Me ..I need you to be different than me. I AM all woman.
Be a man, classic, alpha, brave, vulnerable and compassionate
When you ask for what I AM not...
When you expect me to suffer for another's trespasses against you..
I know that YOU are not HIM.
I AM not your past
I AM today
You may say, 'Come to me'.
I won't come to or for you though.
YOU are not HIM
Is reciprocity not the very TRUST of SPIRIT?
I do not trust you
Because,
YOU are not HIM
I say "NO to you"
Because for all that you may attempt...
YOU are not HIM
I am not your HER
We are not IT.
I am drenched in Proverbs: 31 yes..that sounds like me
Most days...
But my way knows not a religion
It is of my spirit…
I AM here; so I believe in miracles
I desire DIVINE will above my own
I don't expect you to understand this
YOU are not HIM
'He sounds like the winds of heaven in my ear
and shines like your son and the sun'
I tell the DIVINE
And because you do not understand
you reveal to me
That YOU are not HIM
I am naturally high spirited
I SING, I DANCE, I PRAY.
I LAUGH
I AM high on life.
If you are not
Stay out of my WAY!
I already understand that..
YOU are not HIM
If you are there as a blockade
I have pity for your illusion ....
I will walk around you
But my walk may seem like ....
I am flying to you.
I LOVE authentically and focus on better things.
If I find you 'better' I may FOCUS on you
Everyone gets attention.
This is a fee I always pay.
They say no one is that pleasant all the time.
I say 'I AM and HE is to me.'
Kindness to you assures me the arrival of HIM.
He has pity on men like you.
So my carriage today honors his character.
I remain kind even though..
YOU are not HIM.
I love and I talk to my elders (present and gone).
I respect them no matter the level of respect
someone else says is okay.
They understand why I wait now..for HIM.
I KNOW he is about the work
of finding and having me.
He will not fail
at holding me and me onto him.
He is my KING
Noble and KIND
Like me in fact
CONSISTENT in PURSUIT and CAPTURE
Magnificent and stately
Thoughtful
HE is no secret.
HE holds no grudges
HE has left all of his past
HE LIKES AND LOVES
Everything about me
And I HIM.
He prays ..
I AM still
He meditates
He drenches from work that requires his mind, body, and spirit.
And yet …he is ready.
Not fatigued.
Not dispirited.
By the past, time and loves gone by.
Not self-centered
Not angry.
Not dismissive.
Not miser-like
He is enthusiastic.
At the day's end, in the earliest of morning’s intention for light
...he pours into me.
And I overflow....
Sounds erotic to you?
Yeah, I know....
Now come on ...
YOU really must know by now ...
That you are NOT HIM
In me I will carry his legacy .
OUR legacy
He is sure and waiting for me.
He is praying for me.
HE knows my energy
I AM
Devoted to his success
Supporting his feats
Protecting his interest
HE has ...
Humility like Joseph
Solomon type wisdom,
Inspiration reminds me of Paul,
Leadership like Moses
You've heard of these men?
Their traits, greatness and virtue
And something unlike any other?
Yes that is indeed HIM
HE looks in the mirror and knows who he is
HE does not pretend
When they ask who YOU are I say ..
'Yes ....He is a Man, but I know He is not HIM.'
You need to know..because I am clear about HIM.
I am singing, praying, writing, maintaining, waiting for HIM
Not some semblance of HIM
And though it is so personal ..I will share with you what I tell HIM
I tell HIM this truth:
'I don’t want a mere copy of you. I want you. The whole, the everything'
I will give the whole ..the everything...to YOU because you are HIM.
You need to know this.
Hear this....
Sow this....
You are not HIM.
I imagine the beautiful HEALTHY and HAPPY CHILDREN
we could some day have.
I have had the same baby boy in my dreams for years.
I will deliver that dream to HIM.
He has his FATHER's EYES and MY SMILE.
HIS laughter comes from
The parenting me and my HIM put into his heart
HE is OURS..
By "OURS"..
I mean created
By ME and HIM.
I share this with you.
So when you see me in my multitude with THEM
You will know that I arrived to HIM
I thought you should know since my denial of you is because ....
Stringing you along is malpractice on our hearts and
You don't deserve that
I don't want you as a place filler while
I AM WAITING ON HIM
I am GRATEFUL FOR YOU
BECAUSE I AM
So clear in knowing you that
there is no ME and YOU
And so sure that I want
ME and HIM.
- Adrienne A. Wallace
I then told her to write about it. I find that for those of us tied( professionally and personally) to media and artistic expression, it is easier to get it out that way. We read look or listen to it and all of a sudden ..courage to make it happen face to face comes along. In fact, I think this works well for almost anybody.
She said she would try and in my own knowing of myself and imagining what I would do if the situation were mine, I wrote a piece that would be my spiritual and poetic truth if I had to cut the wrong one loose.
Have a read:
YOU, ME and HIM
I am more than the look of my face, the curve of my hips, I AM beyond the sum of my physical parts... Truly
So with my back straight and soul intact, I will wait for him.
I AM with…the confidence of Cleopatra, a Queen
Boldness of Esther,
The Praying of Hannah,
The Patience of Ruth,
as stately as Neferetti..
I have ....
The Peace of GOD that comes from knowing that he is
A Piece of GOD.
I am a vessel waiting on him able to carry passengers to port and shore
Tall, long, bold and strong.
I carry greatness ..ALREADY
Have the capacity to lead and mother more..I'M READY
And I'm looking for something a bit different
You are not HIM
HE is a hybrid yes
So am I.
I do not know how much you have read
But men who do not read ...scare me
Those who do not listen warn me
You who are fatigued create tension around me
I realize that form and function are not mutually EXCLUSIVE
I realize that courage is something self defined
I know that some will call you to give them what they don't have to give.
Me ..I need you to be different than me. I AM all woman.
Be a man, classic, alpha, brave, vulnerable and compassionate
When you ask for what I AM not...
When you expect me to suffer for another's trespasses against you..
I know that YOU are not HIM.
I AM not your past
I AM today
You may say, 'Come to me'.
I won't come to or for you though.
YOU are not HIM
Is reciprocity not the very TRUST of SPIRIT?
I do not trust you
Because,
YOU are not HIM
I say "NO to you"
Because for all that you may attempt...
YOU are not HIM
I am not your HER
We are not IT.
I am drenched in Proverbs: 31 yes..that sounds like me
Most days...
But my way knows not a religion
It is of my spirit…
I AM here; so I believe in miracles
I desire DIVINE will above my own
I don't expect you to understand this
YOU are not HIM
'He sounds like the winds of heaven in my ear
and shines like your son and the sun'
I tell the DIVINE
And because you do not understand
you reveal to me
That YOU are not HIM
I am naturally high spirited
I SING, I DANCE, I PRAY.
I LAUGH
I AM high on life.
If you are not
Stay out of my WAY!
I already understand that..
YOU are not HIM
If you are there as a blockade
I have pity for your illusion ....
I will walk around you
But my walk may seem like ....
I am flying to you.
I LOVE authentically and focus on better things.
If I find you 'better' I may FOCUS on you
Everyone gets attention.
This is a fee I always pay.
They say no one is that pleasant all the time.
I say 'I AM and HE is to me.'
Kindness to you assures me the arrival of HIM.
He has pity on men like you.
So my carriage today honors his character.
I remain kind even though..
YOU are not HIM.
I love and I talk to my elders (present and gone).
I respect them no matter the level of respect
someone else says is okay.
They understand why I wait now..for HIM.
I KNOW he is about the work
of finding and having me.
He will not fail
at holding me and me onto him.
He is my KING
Noble and KIND
Like me in fact
CONSISTENT in PURSUIT and CAPTURE
Magnificent and stately
Thoughtful
HE is no secret.
HE holds no grudges
HE has left all of his past
HE LIKES AND LOVES
Everything about me
And I HIM.
He prays ..
I AM still
He meditates
He drenches from work that requires his mind, body, and spirit.
And yet …he is ready.
Not fatigued.
Not dispirited.
By the past, time and loves gone by.
Not self-centered
Not angry.
Not dismissive.
Not miser-like
He is enthusiastic.
At the day's end, in the earliest of morning’s intention for light
...he pours into me.
And I overflow....
Sounds erotic to you?
Yeah, I know....
Now come on ...
YOU really must know by now ...
That you are NOT HIM
In me I will carry his legacy .
OUR legacy
He is sure and waiting for me.
He is praying for me.
HE knows my energy
I AM
Devoted to his success
Supporting his feats
Protecting his interest
HE has ...
Humility like Joseph
Solomon type wisdom,
Inspiration reminds me of Paul,
Leadership like Moses
You've heard of these men?
Their traits, greatness and virtue
And something unlike any other?
Yes that is indeed HIM
HE looks in the mirror and knows who he is
HE does not pretend
When they ask who YOU are I say ..
'Yes ....He is a Man, but I know He is not HIM.'
You need to know..because I am clear about HIM.
I am singing, praying, writing, maintaining, waiting for HIM
Not some semblance of HIM
And though it is so personal ..I will share with you what I tell HIM
I tell HIM this truth:
'I don’t want a mere copy of you. I want you. The whole, the everything'
I will give the whole ..the everything...to YOU because you are HIM.
You need to know this.
Hear this....
Sow this....
You are not HIM.
I imagine the beautiful HEALTHY and HAPPY CHILDREN
we could some day have.
I have had the same baby boy in my dreams for years.
I will deliver that dream to HIM.
He has his FATHER's EYES and MY SMILE.
HIS laughter comes from
The parenting me and my HIM put into his heart
HE is OURS..
By "OURS"..
I mean created
By ME and HIM.
I share this with you.
So when you see me in my multitude with THEM
You will know that I arrived to HIM
I thought you should know since my denial of you is because ....
Stringing you along is malpractice on our hearts and
You don't deserve that
I don't want you as a place filler while
I AM WAITING ON HIM
I am GRATEFUL FOR YOU
BECAUSE I AM
So clear in knowing you that
there is no ME and YOU
And so sure that I want
ME and HIM.
- Adrienne A. Wallace
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