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Finding the Center - Then and Now
There was so much going on and there always is.
I woke up. I felt a racing inside.
It was as if the blood inside of me had congealed and taken on race car status.
I asked myself -
Is this just coming awake?
Or is it that thing called anxiety?
Why would I be anxious?
I was dutiful, prayerful ( and now still I am) .
I was doing this every day.
It was law school. One of the best in the nation.
Makes me a best too no?
Get up, get washed, rub and oil down.
Brush and separate.
Push up against the mirror.
Check my pores. Hot rag. Cold rag.
Smooth my brows.
Rub the back of my neck.
Smile at myself.
Check my booty.
Rise on my toes.
Stretch my body.
Find my keys
Grab my 15 pound bag of books
Day after day ...I went.
One day ... I stopped.
Looked at myself.
From Terence A. Scott's upcoming Stripped
Awakened 1997 to Present day
No that was not the way.
You see, when this was happening, I realized that the rush to get on with the day was not about the bathroom and getting in and out in 30 minutes or so.
It was about the grace I needed to be all that I could be for the day.
Just for the day.
Where I was going was dictating time beyond my moment.
I was checking my self in the mirror again.
There are no mirrors when we go inside.
Mirrors are the egos instrument.
How could I meditate to be in the moment and then run off to review the past so that I could plot my future?
This was not the way.
It was not enough for me to pray.
My prayer was the medium of miracles for everyone but me.
Except now I know that as I pray for others I pray for my self. One of one.
So now people say, " You aren't mad/ upset with them?"
I am not.
Love at the center knows no anger.
I live and operate from that center.
Forgiveness is a feature of my spiritual being now.
... For they know not what they do.
Crying does not foreshadow that an infant is new and so too is my approach with people.
A toddler may submit you to a tantrum, if you withhold a cookie.
In grown folk I see his, her, and their toddler selves.
I needed something more.
I found it.
Meditation helped me to stop, still, and grow.
Makes you stop.
Brings the moment into clear view.
No longer was my value connected to becoming a particular type of professional.
Integrity and self awareness.
Letting go of egoic concern of another person's opinion
Understanding that opinions on the outside could rupture the soul tunnel if I was not first less harmful and more loving to me.
Relationships came into full view.
I realized that some pursuits were attempts to use one relationship at the expense or to gain advantage in another and without mutual benefit.
Along flowed emotions of guilt.
Equally enlightening and more beneficial was the arrival.
The arrival of forgiveness.
It was impossible now to condemn any part of a relationship and find peace with the whole person.
I learned to find peace with all of it and not blame anyone.
I evaluated only my response.
I acknowledged that all cause was not in my control.
Through this, I gifted myself with what the Universe had packaged for me to open at my birth...
This is freedom that meditation affords.
My "now eyes "go outward towards others and I can simply feel the best part of the connection we have.Forges my marriage to the center of my being.
Sets me free.
Allows me to honor the source that...
Sets you free.
Sometimes I don't respond.
I just know something is there and often without definition..that is enough.
To just be.
Absolute comfort with nothingness and
Joy in the delivery of truth.
No anger at what you express as your own.
Understanding that we each have our own experience.
Developing, showcasing and pursuing the next great role as an experienced business leader is something we take for granted. As an executive -level professional like me looks to transition, there is no downtime. The hunt and exit must be graceful and you must know who is looking, what you want, what they want , who to connect to and how to connect.
Where are you?
Little girl with broken wings but full of hope….
Where are you? Wise women covered in wounds……
Where are you? Today is the day
I will not sit still and give in anymore
Today I rise I am bruised but I will get up and walk again> Today I rise
I don’t care if you ignore my beauty
Today I rise
Through the alchemy of my darkest nights I heal and thrive Today I rise
I move through the world with confidence and grace
I open my eyes and I am ready to face
My wholeness as a woman and my limitless capacities
I will walk my path with audacity
Today I rise
I reconnect with the many aspects of myself
I am in awe of the reality I can create
I am a healer
I am a queen
A wise women – A wild woman
I will rise and beam
I am a rebel
I will wake up and fight
I am a mother and I am a child
I will no longer disguise my sad…
My first InTheLifeRoom Podcast in 2016. I hope it blesses you.
That 10-second wait to hear this podcast is part of this lesson. There
is anxiety when we have to stand in our current state and wait. Stay in
your moment of quiet with confidence. What starts for you starts in the
right time for you. You tend to lack nothing as much as you lack
contentment in/with the current moment. Striving has its place. Don't
strive for what other people have. You have a place to be that is ordained
for you and only you. That grass you see on the other side of the fence
is plastic. It really isn't where you want to be. You'll get there
through grace. Confidence in getting there by being healthy and whole
and happy in your present day while taking care to execute in a way that
assures a good today is the new human imperative. Planning has its
place. Don't get caught up in the game. The distance between planning
and regretting is being. Know and execute your plan for today.…